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Truth – Beyond My Alcoholism

I live by my truth and not by the facts.

What is the difference between truth and the facts? Do the facts always lead us to the truth? The facts of my past have brought me to my current truth. Let me try to clarify what I mean and what has worked for me. I try not to believe and act on what I see and what I feel. That doesn’t mean that I am always successful at living by sheer faith. When I begin to rely on myself and what my senses say about the circumstances around me, those defects of character can arise and lead me towards trouble. It is in this truth that I know I cannot rely on fact. Why? Because facts change.

Truth

I woke this morning to heavy rain and thunderstorms, that was a fact. However, I am enjoying a beautiful clear evening on my patio writing this piece. That is another fact but facts change. A 100% chance of thunderstorms tonight is just more proof. Weather is unpredictable and rain is needed for the vibrant growth that is evident in the green all around me. That is a truth. Seems confusing maybe, but my alcoholism helped me to begin to make sense of this way of living. When I do not count on what I see and feel but rather on where my trust lies, where my faith is, freedom floods into my life.

Still I do what I know I shouldn’t.

A few days ago I let myself trip up on something that I saw. On one of my daily posts on social media, another in recovery attacked my path of sobriety because it did not match what they believed in. I tried to explain my belief on recovery but it was to no avail, it just made them even more angry to the point of calling me sanctimonious. That was a first. But what I began to realize was that because I was trusting in what I saw on a social media post it was arresting my freedom, my serenity. I had to have a mind shift, a complete refocus. I was reminded who my faith was in and the promises that holds.

diversity

A cool thing about recovery is that you are always evolving. My failure to stay focused on my faith caused me to think about our plight as addicts and alcoholics. The big push these days is to end the stigma and for the world to see us for who we are and not just bums of booze and dope heads. As a community we talk of strength in numbers and unity. Programs are based on love and tolerance, not to mention a complete spiritual experience. But I have come to understand that when you have any group of human beings you will meet those who live under a doctrine of selfishness and fear. Just another reason why we need faith.

Diversity is our strength not our weakness.

We are arrogant if we think that we corner the market on life’s issues and problems. The one’s we call “normies” deal with the same mountains and monsters that we do. The difference is that we deal with ours by using and abusing a substance. We are not the only ones with issues. In the same breath if we cannot show acceptance to each other in our battle to find and maintain recovery how can we expect the rest of the world to. If we cannot unite, no matter our route to clean and soberville, then all we do is perpetuate the stigma that keeps us under the shadows of our past addictions.

I feel stuck

I have found life after alcoholism. I have no fear in speaking out loud about my past and how I got to where I am today. My faith saved me and with that I will never be silenced. I will continue to honor those who have found sobriety in different ways. I am grateful for all of us in recovery because there are numerous paths for all of the unique individuals that make up our kind. It is a fact that I am an alcoholic but facts do change. My truth is that I am a warrior who is fulfilling the call on my life. The purpose that God had in mind for me when He created me. That is who I am today and who I will continue to be as long as I rely on who got me here.

Live in your truth, your facts will change

I am blessed to be an alcoholic. It has brought me back to the place where I got stuck. God never left my side, I left His. I walked away from the calling on my life when I was 19yrs old as I was heading to college to become a youth minister. Turning my back on my faith I lived only by what I saw and felt. I was always chasing the party because the facts were always changing. I wound up a prisoner in my own mind. Alcoholism brought me back to my truth. It allowed me another chance to get un-stuck. It is my purpose to help support you in your efforts to get un-stuck. No matter how you choose to do it. No matter how you choose to find recovery. That is my TRUTH! WHAT IS YOURS?

One Comment

  1. Kip! Really appreciate making a distinction between truth and fact. I just finished writing about how faith is not an A,B,C endeavor for me, not something linear of yes/no. Thanks for continuing to get me thinking about things like this. It’s helping me in my faith journey.

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