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I Unplugged My Own Life Support

“I unplugged the very power source that was saving me”

Unplugged my power source

Everywhere people are unplugging themselves from the very power source of life and purpose. It is not just the insanity of addiction but the insanity of life.

Before I ever took my first drink I began to despise church and doubt God. I would see people who had partied on Saturday night and praising God on Sunday. Then in recovery, I stopped going to AA meetings because of certain people. The guy who would brag about how many days he had each and every time he spoke. In reality, it was not God or AA that I had a problem with. It was with the people who were there. Turned out to be a convenient excuse to not experience the fullness of life that God and recovery where trying to bring me. I needed an excuse because I either did not understand it all or could not control it all. I was not ready to completely surrender to God or my recovery. That opened the door for me to take the inventory of others and all their flaws. Leaving me the perfect alibi. A justified excuse to unplug from God and recovery. I unplugged the very power source that was saving me!

“Do we really feel that these organizations have wronged us in some way”

Why do we become turned off to church, AA, or any other group or organization? Do we really feel that these organizations have wronged us in some way? Could it be that another person’s actions and behavior became the tipping point? I was so quick to turn off to God and recovery if there was someone who did not meet my expectations. Let’s be real and honest here. It never really was God or AA that had turned me off. It was my disdain for the people there that convinced me it was wise to unplug my power source.

So how do we keep plugged in? How do we keep the lights on?

Our belief and faith is in a power greater than ourselves. It is the people’s actions and behaviors that gives us an excuse to fail at life and recovery. To not be able to succeed and win. It is us that allows these people to be the scapegoat for us losing our faith. It happens when we allow our selfish nature to be in control. We soon allow people to be the center of our faith instead of God or a program of recovery. When we become fearful and disenchanted we have now an excuse to not believe. The insanity of being so afraid of a renewed and purposeful life.

So how do we keep plugged in? How do we keep the lights on?

  • Practice Acceptance vs. Expectations. Focus on what we need to change not what others need to change.
  • Make the choice to keep our faith in God not in people. With God there is never disappointment.
  • We remember it is not about us.  It is about what we can do for others.
  • Surround ourselves with strong, like-minded people who will help hold us accountable.
  • Stop making excuses. 
  • Stop letting our past become bigger than what God has for us. We do deserve better.
  • Surrender our will and life completely. Thy will not mine be done.
  • Always look to be of service. Gets us out of our own head.

NO EXCUSES

If we keep our focus on God and our recovery and off our selfish nature we will succeed. Success is so simple and failure full of complexity. Yet so many times we choose failure. That is complete insanity. Not just the insanity of addiction but the insanity of life. Never unplug your power source and keep the lights on. It is a choice to never be in darkness again!

10 Comments

  1. Thanks Kip. I need to read what you shared. Even though sober you still have things to work on and some on a daily basis. Be positive, not negative.

    • I have found that I am always evolving and growing which I think is necessary. If we dont we become stale and stagnant.

  2. Nicely said!! I like it. 🙂

    • Thanks for taking the time to read and leaving a comment.

  3. Kip your reminding me of some early experiences I had with sponsorship early on. I “fired” so many for such stupid reasons. I was just looking for ways they were wrong so I could dump them. Why? I didn’t want to do the work. I remember the words of the last one I fired, “Sooner or later Mark you have to do the work.” And there it was. I couldn’t deny it any more. The next sponsor lead me through the steps and then–boom! Happy, Joyous and Free! (most of the time anyway)

    • Right on. We are so good at the blame game and manipulating our circumstances to give us that excuse for failure. Self discovery although scary at first leads us to such a better place. Thanks for the comment my friend.

  4. Kip, I found you through Mark. : ) This post really speaks to me. We have not been “in church” in many years because the people drove us crazy! LOL The intolerance, the judging, the meddling…..do you see the problem here? You have me wondering if it might be different for me now. Lord knows, I am a different person than I was so many years ago. Tragedy, heartbreak, brokenness, meeting a compassionate God, recovery, have taught me about acceptance, unconditional love, letting things play out without controlling every twist and turn….maybe I can give it a try again. Thanks for writing and sharing here. : )

    • I think its worth the try. I have learned that we go seeking God not people. Our faith is in God not people. We cant let the actions of others keep us from the One who has saved us from ourselves. You are right on about acceptance and tolerance. I think we can find just about anything wrong with anything if that is way we look at it. There will always be judgmental type people but we arent there for them we are there for us. Hope you give it a try. Just know He never turns His back on us no matter what we have done.

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