I have taken on an alcoholic evolution – from recovery to life
I am an alcoholic but I am also many other things. I have alcoholism. The disease is a condition not a definition of who I am. In my sobriety I am ever evolving. As my good friend Mark Goodson says, “I have grown beyond the person I recovered in early sobriety”. I have taken on an alcoholic evolution – from recovery to life.
I was fortunate that I did not graduate from the bottle to the IV. I broke the cycle of alcoholism when I made a choice to ask God for help. I remember sitting on the front row of the recovery center’s chapel. Staring up at Jesus on the cross, on the front wall. I was done. I could not go on living like I was any longer. I simply cried out loud, “I cannot do this. Please help me!”. Right there I felt the deathly weight of alcohol leave me. As stubborn as I had been, God waited patiently for me to return to the purpose he had called me to as a teen. My evolution started there.
There are many paths people can take to recovery
So, where did I go from there? I had no idea about addiction, recovery, rehab but I did know about God. When someone asks me, How did you do it? My simple answer is God. Now do not get me wrong there is a process in recovery. There are many paths people can take to recovery. For me, my beginning and resting place is and will always be God. I began to renew my relationship with God through my reading and meditation. I began to attend AA meetings, sometimes 2 a day. I did my 90 in 90 in 60 days. I took in all I could. But looking back I was hiding in those rooms. It was a safe place to be. It was a necessary phase of my growth as it allowed me to find my wings to fly. At close to a year of sobriety, I began to also go back to church, find one I felt comfortable in, and became involved. My recovery became a multitude of things. God, AA, and surrounding myself with family and the RIGHT kind of people.
Now it is time to take life and live it
My alcoholic evolution was taking me from a program of recovery to a program of life. I will always have some sort of recovery as part of my life. It is like exercise to physical health. I practice what I have learned as exercise in maintaining my sobriety. I exercise my recovery every day. But, I am taking all that I have learned and continue to learn and now apply it to life and not just my recovery. There is more to life for me than just a recovery program. Recovery has allowed me to regain the joys of the simple things in life. Now it is time to take life and live it. To enjoy the MIRACLE of the MUNDANE.
I am more than just an alcoholic in recovery
I have begun to find my gifts. To awaken the warrior that is inside of me. I have evolved to the point where I am understanding the “WHY?”. I share my message of recovery. I share God’s message which is far greater. I continue to evolve, to learn, to grow. That makes me alive. Fulfilling my purpose. To be a light, to whoever is in the darkness. Not just the darkness of addiction, but the darkness of life. I cultivate my relationship with God daily. I still attend AA several times a month. I try to be a warrior daily, in all that I do. I am evolving. I am living with purpose. I am more than just an alcoholic in recovery.
Tell Me Your WHY!
In my next blog I will share how a battle of wills, mine and God’s, led me to discovering my “WHY?”. What is your why? What is the meaning to your purpose. The motivation for your life. Please share your WHY with me. Leave a comment. Tell me your WHY! I look forward to seeing them.