Never in a million years did I ever think I would become an alcoholic. Nor did I ever consider myself one until I had lost what was most important to me. Having a baby at forty was not in the plans either but I can see now it was in God’s plan. That baby would become an alcoholic’s angel.
As I wrote in the http://www.kipshubert.com/power-of-addiction/ , the power of addiction and in my case alcoholism it is astonishing to me as I look back at it today. As an alcoholic I lost all purpose, I had no motivation, and I forgot why my life should even matter. The one thing I loved the most, my kids, I would even forsake for the bottle.
Throughout my life I wondered often just where God has gone. Why had He left me all alone and in such pain and darkness. But it was my choices that had me alone and in pain. It was a culmination of things I choose and the storms life had thrown my way. I never learned to navigate those storms and was blown way off course.
That baby I had at 40…….she saved me.
But coming through that storm of alcoholism and into the rainbow of recovery I can see now God took everything and turned it to my good. That baby I had at 40, didn’t save a marriage, she saved me. Learning that because of my drinking I had lost all legal parental rights to my 6 year old daughter was the moment of my awakening. That was my bottom and also the foundation to building a thriving life of purpose in recovery.
God would use the love I had for her, the love I had for my older children to move me to action. He disciplined me through my faith. I stopped seeing what I couldn’t do and began believing in what God would do. The process of recovery, reclaiming God’s plan for me, led me to a life as a warrior on purpose. But it was an alcoholic’s angel that kept me focused and running as one who wins.
….this Daddy’s saving grace.
Having her back in my life is daily proof of God’s faithfulness and love. I tell Kamdyn often that I love her more than she will ever know. She may never realize that God sent her as an angel to save her Daddy. Just check out the video below, may be old and grainy but still brings me to tears. My little wanna be Rapunzel and this Daddy’s saving grace.