Getting rid of the things that don’t align with a thriving life of recovery.
So you are clean and sober, life is amazingly confusing but good. New life has been breathed back into your soul and you feel like you have not felt in years. But, eventually we come off that pink cloud, dragged back to life’s reality by out past, present, and future circumstances. Our momentum begins to slow, little by little, as we accumulate baggage along our new found life path. But what happens if we don’t learn to get rid of what weighs us down? If we don’t learn to let dead weight go it drags us right back to the life we escaped from.
So what could be those things that are dead weight and not aligning with the life we dreamed of in early recovery. What and who might be in the way of us finding that thriving existence we envisioned of as a youngster? We may have to do some digging to uncover what and who those things may be. It might be a bit unpleasant but it is necessary if you really want to get to where you want to go. But, if we are thorough and honest we can do it, after all, we got sober didn’t we.
Where do you want to go?
First things first though, get out a pen and paper and do this right, make it concrete. Let’s commit, together, to really get somewhere. The very first question I want you to answer on that paper is this, where are you right now? Go ahead and write, I will be here when you are done.
Now the second question is this, where do you want to go? Write all this out, however long it is, the important part is to be real, be vulnerable, and be honest in what you are writing. We are going to look at it as we move forward. Using it to look at what is and what isn’t moving us to where we want to be.
…just make a start…
Secondly, I am going to ask you to think about the things that you do. Your daily routines, your relationships, your schedule, your social media habits, your hobbies, and lastly, what you do in your down time. On that piece of paper begin to brainstorm about all that you do on a daily or weekly basis. It may seem like a lot, but, just make a start. It will come quickly, I promise. What do you spend time doing in the mornings? the evenings? What is your routine at work like? Who do you give your energy too and spend time with? How much of your time is spent on social media? When you have down time, what are you doing, watching TV, eating junk food, scrolling mindlessly on your phone?
Really spend some time digging through this one. Write down everything you can think of. We are going to need to use it as a guide when letting go of our dead weight. What you are going to find is that you have accumulated a lot of things, baggage if you will, that has wrapped all the way around you and is weighing you down. Some of it you probably would not even imagined as being dead weight, but it is. Now, are you ready to feel lighter and more free to move to where it is that you want to go? Good, let’s do it.
Or is it just dead weight?
Here comes the “nut cuttin” time as they say. Go back and look at what you wrote down about where you want to go. You may want to refine it, edit it a bit, but write in bigger bold print at the very top of all your brainstorming. Then you are going to examine every thing that you wrote down to see if it aligns with where you want to go. Is it helping you get there? Or is it just dead weight? If it isn’t helping you get to where you want to be then it may be something that it is time to let go of.
After I had been sober about 9 months I had to do some letting go. I was still with my friends from the bar, ironically, they were safe for me early on. I did not want to disappoint them and they were my cheerleaders in staying sober. But I had a dream of using my experiences and gifts to impact people as a public speaker, teacher and coach. It would require my full attention and time. It would require me to grow and not just be complacent with where I was in my recovery. If I was going to thrive, it was time to get to “nut cuttin”.
I had to decide if I wanted to move towards my dreams or spend nights in a bar
These friends had been there for me more than my own family. Not because my family didn’t care but because they were where I lived and my family was several hours away. They meant so much to me. But I had to decide if I wanted to move towards my dreams or spend most nights in the bar, drinking Dr. Pepper and smoking cigarettes, while my buddies drank and had a good ‘ol time. So I made the decision to move. I decided that staying in that environment was not going to get me to where I wanted to go. I love them to this day, I will always care for them a great deal, but that season of my life had passed, it was time to let go if I wanted to become the warrior I dreamed of.
What is it that you need to cut out? Who are you spending time and energy with that may be weighing you down? These things don’t necessarily have to be bad things either. They could be good things, good people. But, if they are not helping you move to where you want to go then they are just weight that is keeping you stuck where you are. The bad stuff is easy to spot, it kind of hits you right square in the forehead like a frying pan. It is the good stuff that is tougher to uncover and even harder to let go of. Have that tough conversation. Remove that thing that is distracting you from your dreams and ambitions. Face it head on. Those that do, are the ones that don’t just dream big but are the ones who see their big dreams become their reality.
We must pursue life with more passion than we pursued that next drink.
We all have that dead weight. What is yours? It may take some digging and what you may find may not be what you expected but to get to where you want to be it must be done. If you won’t, or can’t, then you will just inch along or more than likely, you will probably stay stuck exactly where you are. I want you to thrive in your life of recovery. I want you to reach those dreams and visions you have in your soul. To do that, we have to be willing to move. We must pursue life with more passion than we pursued that next drink. To thrive in your life of recovery, you are going to have to let go of your dead weight. Then instantly you will begin to feel like you are flying towards those goals that you dreamed sobriety could bring you. Go Big, my friend. Fly!