There are times when I feel like I can conquer the world. My life in recovery has allowed me to uncover a confidence I have never known. In these times I have no doubt that I can accomplish what I set out to do. Yet, fear, worry, my flesh tells me to slow down, that I am tired, and what happens if you fail.
We are in a constant battle between the physical and the spiritual. Alcoholics Anonymous even talks of recovery as a spiritual solution to our addictions. Our flesh, our physical desires are strong. We believe they will satisfy one of our basic needs when, in truth, real satisfaction comes from the soul and our connection to our spirituality and what we believe in.
In addiction, our physical desires are overcome with the insatiable appetite for destruction. We become out of touch with our soul and void of any spirituality. But when we find real, lasting recovery it is because we find that someone greater than ourselves. We finally see the light at the end of the dark death tunnel of substance abuse.
“self-will versus that of God’s will”
However, the battle does not end there. This battle also exists for every person, no matter whether they have ever dealt with any type of addiction issues or not. It is the enticement of self-will versus that of God’s will. Self-will that the world glorifies and God’s will which is depicted as a life of poverty and void of any excitement or adventure. One path that looks so inviting but leads to death while the other that looks difficult and narrow but leads to life.
I still fight this battle daily. For me, I always want to slow down. I think I need a rest, a nap, a better night’s sleep. My mind tells me that my body is tired while my spirit wants to run. My spirit is driven to be more than a conqueror in Christ. The soul longs to live the greatest life imaginable. So therefore, the war rages on. The difference between my life in addiction and now is that I have the weapons to fight, the wisdom to discern, and a God who never fails me.
My most valuable habit
There are a few things that are vital in me being able to be victorious in these daily battles.
- Developing a healthy morning routine of prayer, reading, and meditation. My most valuable habit.
- Cultivating a relationship with several people who are determined to live the same life I am. A strong community.
- Speaking words of faith into my life and following it up with relentless action. Daily steps towards fulfilling my purpose.
Life has a way of trying to knock you down. Our own selfish desires can tend to get the best of even the most disciplined of us. But if I have learned one thing in this life of recovery it is this. When I focus on God and seek Him first then I have all the things that I need. When I acknowledge Him in all my ways my paths are made straight. This promise never returns void of power.
I know that each person’s path is their own and unique. For me waging war against my flesh and walking in the spirit under God’s will has helped me to live in faith over fear. Fear is so powerful with many faces, our flesh is deceiving and takes us on a trip that never satisfies. But my faith in knowing that God never quits and always wins, helps me to overcome my battles. When my face is turned towards that faith and away from fear is the moment I know I cannot lose, no doubt!
Listen to me here on my YouTube channel with Learning to Embrace the Suck, https://youtu.be/phP2WAP6OJc