The ultimate party foul occurs when we spend all our time complaining about what the party doesn’t have and we completely miss out on all that it does have.
This past Father’s Day, I committed the ultimate party foul. I had became so pre-occupied with all that was not going my way that I lost sight on all that was. Life is like the ultimate party. If we become too focused on all that we are not getting out of it, well then, we miss out on all that it is trying to give us. And the recurring theme for me came around again. Kip, this is just not about you.
The week leading up to Father’s Day was not the best. You know, one of those season’s that you are growing through, that are just not that fun. Financial strain, dealing with months of Covid-19, and just the tough struggles of being married. To be honest, the party that week sucked. But, instead of looking for the good in it, finding the areas that I could become better, I got bitter. And people, bitterness, just never ends well for any of us.
…..things were revolving around “ME”.
Father’s Day came and I was already upset that I had to drive over an hour away to pick up my daughter. She should have been with me the night before, instead of the “new” step-dad. After all, it was Father’s Day, I should have been put first. I was not going to get to see my older kids and I miss them terribly. But one thing that was constant, things were certainly revolving around “ME”.
I got a nice card from my wife, but I was mad at her, so that was not enough. A few texts came in from the older ones and I was glad to hear from them. Stewing over the fact that I had to plan my own meal, go to the store, and then cook out on the grill for everyone just added to the pity party the day was becoming. Then to top it off, as I scrolled through Facebook, I saw all the posts of the dad’s and their celebrations with awesome gifts. Comparing what my party was lacking just added fuel to my smoldering fire.
My actions only resulted in the ultimate party foul.
I spent my day complaining to myself. Going over in my head how I was so mistreated and not appreciated. But that just is not the truth, not anywhere near it. My wife and kids, they love me, they appreciate me. I am reminded daily of how much I mean to them. But life can be a real downer at times also. If we are not careful we will spend all of our time reacting out of emotion to what happens to us, instead of responding out of love, compassion, and grace. And believe me, I was not full of love, compassion, and grace on Father’s Day. My actions only resulted in the ultimate party foul.
So here is my point. Life is a party. You can go and have fun or stay locked up in your room throwing yourself a pity party for one. There are many things we will not control, like who shows up and how they behave. We may even have people crash the party. Some will be boring while others all the rage. But what we do control is our attitude and our actions. Are we reacting out of emotion, or are we responding with what is right? Or are we so busy complaining that life is just not what we expected that we become our own complete buzzkill?
This year on Father’s Day, I was able to be with my little girl. Four years ago, I was not even allowed to have any type of contact with her. I have a beautiful wife, that is cancer free, and fighting every day to be a light to our family and this world. My older kids are a constant in my life now and I have grand children that are so absolutely wonderful. I have a job that is my passion and purpose, the ultimate “WHY”. And to top it off, I have over 6 years and 3 months continued sobriety. But I missed it. I missed all that, because I was blinded with bitterness.
Life is a party and it is only going to be as amazing as you make it.
Don’t be like me. This past weekend I was a punk. Don’t miss what you have because you are too busy worrying about all that you don’t have. When we become so obsessed with what are not getting we really do commit the ultimate party foul. Because we miss out on experiencing the simple joy in all that we already have been given.
Open your eyes to what you have. Life is a party and it is only going to be as amazing as you make it. Take all that you have been blessed with. Offer it some sober punch and some cake. Love, laugh, and share some tears. Throw on some dancing shoes, live it up. Because life is just way too amazing and way too short to waste time committing the ultimate party foul. I promise you, you don’t want miss all that life has waiting for you.